My Goodness, My Guinness: What Makes an Ad Stand the Test of Time

In nearly every Irish pub around the country, we’ve seen these iconic Guinness posters. Created in the 1930s and 40s by Benson’s Advertising, and drawn mostly by artist John Gilroy, these ads are a prime example of what stands the test of time.

These ads, creative, charming and simple are among my top five favorite campaigns of all time. They are such adorable pieces of artwork that people sometimes forget their original purpose–to sell Guinness. When I went to see Atonement in the movie theatre a few years back, I remember laughing when I saw plastered on the back of an Oxford Circus-bound Double Decker bus the famous “Have a Guinness When You’re Tired” advert.

So what is it about these ads that deserves such high praise? They pass the communication litmus test: Be bright, Be brief, Be gone.

The ads you remember forever are the ads you don’t have to think about. They grab your attention, they give their message quickly, and poof! They are gone. But they stay with you forever.

I’ll leave you with some more classics as I jet off to the nearest Irish pub:

Video Content: It’s a (lame) party.

Online viewing parties. They’ve been around for a while, but they never really took off. Why? Mostly because they put a serious damper on the user experience. Video content has advanced so quickly over the past 2 years, it seems very retro (and frustrating) to force people to watch their favorite shows in an online chatroom.

While on the surface the idea seems intriguing, there are many issues with group video views. I’ll elaborate. Currently ABCFamily has a policy that for the first 2 days after the airing of their semi-popular teen targeted show Greek, the only way to watch the latest episode online is in a viewing party. So, why you ask, do they suck?

1) Viewing parties are timed. You can’t just start watching instantly. Typically upon joining a room, you’ll have to wait 3-4 minutes for the show to start. That is far from the instant content gratification web 2.0 users demand.

2) You cannot watch the show in full screen. You might as well watch a pirated version with asian subtitles and stretched faces.

3) You cannot PAUSE THE VIDEO. This is probably the worst part. Unless you are the creator of the group, there won’t be any pausing for bathroom breaks, food refills, or unexpected phone calls. You’re slave to the video. If you are the moderator and pause the video–well then everyone hates you.

4) It’s a chat room. Welcome back to AOL.

5) Everyone agrees they suck. Rarely does anyone actually converse. EXCEPT in the case I’ll describe next.

So what is the benefit of these viewing parties for the broadcast companies? Market Research. I know it’s hard to read the conversation in the image above, so I’ll help you out. One “viewer” starts the conversation with “So, what does everyone think of this episode?” In other words, he said “Welcome to our online focus group on Greek!” ABCFamily is looking for feedback. Unfortunately they are going about it the wrong way. It would be one thing if these viewing parties took off and they could really see what people are saying. Perhaps they should listen better. The only thing I’ve seen people type in these chatrooms is “how can I watch this NOT in a viewing party?”

New! Extend-a-Lash-’n-out-Fantasy-Extreme Mascara

This is a subject matter I’ve wanted to discuss for a while. It’s a question that has plagued me for a decade: why on earth are there so many different types of mascara?

The cosmetic industry has gone line-extension happy for years. I swear that every time an employee at L’Oreal loses and eyelash, they develop a new fancy name and packaging for black goop. I can just see it now:

Ditzy Girl to boss, as she blows away her eyelash: “What did you wish for?”

Ditzy Boss: “A NEW BRAND OF MASCARA!”

The best part of these new mascaras is they always have the funniest names. I swear that one day, and I estimate this to be about the year 2079, they will flat out run out of names for mascara. Earlier, I made a comprehensive list of all the major drugstore brand mascara manufacturers (i.e. Maybelline, Cover Girl etc.) and their different product extensions. To spare a ridiculously long post, I’ll only show you L’Oreal’s mascaras. By the way, 90% of these are all currently available at any drugstore:

Voluminous Original, Voluminous Naturale, Lash Architect, Featherlash, Lash Intensifique, Double Extend, Telescopic, Le Grand Curl, Le Grand Curl Extreme, Panoramic Curl, Bare Naturale, Volume Shocking, Lash Out

Ridiculous, I know. And that’s just L’Oreal. But I must say, I fall victim to these marketing tactics. Every time a new mascara comes out, I usually give it a try. I’m not brand loyal one bit. Well–I should say I’m not product loyal. I do tend to buy L’Oreal. In case you’re wondering, every mascara that appeared in bold has been purchased by yours truly in the past. Guilty as charged.

One of my personal favorite names is “Lash Stiletto” by Maybelline. Seriously? Soon they will be grasping at straws. One thing that is always sure to tag along with these clever names? A clever price. The fancier the name, the greater the chances your drugstore mascara will run you around $10 bucks. All that fancy packaging really pays. Truly though, the best mascaras tend to be the cheapest ones–like L’Oreal’s Voluminous Original, which retails only around $4.

I have a bet for the next mascara that comes out. It is right in line with my least favorite ad trend of the moment. The name?

Lash Stimulus.

Blandalous.

First off, I’d like to apologize for my hiatus in the blogosphere. But here’s my philosophy: if you’ve got nothing good to say, keep your mouth shut.*

With that said, let’s take a look at a show that really needs to shut its trap. I must say I was pretty excited to watch Trust Me initially. The show was hyped up to be the modern day Mad Men, and  Eric McCormack with Tom Cavanaugh seemed like the ultimate duo (don’t they look creepily alike?)

And I tried. I tried so hard to like the show. I tuned in for the first four episodes and watched as Cavanaugh spit out one liners faster than the girls on Gilmore Girls used to talk. And for McCormack, I can’t seem watch him act without expecting Sean Hayes to walk into the scene and dance around flamboyantly. Overall, the writing is dull, characters one-dimensional, and the plot goes absolutely no where.

Mostly, however, the reason I dislike the show is just how inaccurately it portrays the ad world. “The clients care about awards”, says the creative duo’s boss. The two knuckleheads also seem to have no talent whatsoever, and they portray the only female copywriter as a crazy bipolar control freak (that really irked me). The show’s poor ratings reflect that most Americans share my same feeling on the show. Too bad, I really liked the concept.

If you’re thinking of tuning in, don’t bother. It’s a snooze, trust me.

*ps I hope you enjoy the new logo–a bit of a rebrandalous, if you will.

The Google Auction Ad Model

While reading my newest issue of Fast Company this month, I came across a short article that intrigued me. The article profiled Michael Steib, the new director for Google TV ads. That’s right, the Google Ad model isn’t just for web advertising anymore. Google is taking over your television. A look into the future:

“$1,500 for LOST segment 3 Wednesday February 18th going once…..going twice…..SOLD to Victoria’s Secret!”

So perhaps TV ads aren’t exactly going to be auctioned off at Sotheby’s, but you get the idea. The brilliant auction model that has earned Google every boy scout badge in the book is now being applied to television.

What’s so great about the auction model is that your ad could be in post-production today, and on the air tomorrow. No longer does your media plan need to be booked months in advance. Almost as fast as Christian Bale’s flip out was leaked on the internet, you can make snap decisions on where you want your ad placed. The best part? The next day, Google will give you a report on what spots ran, who watched, and how much money it cost you. Forget post-campaign analysis. You’ll get real-time feedback that allows you to tweak your media plan if aren’t getting the results you hoped for.

Watch a demo of how Google TV ads work here.

So how much is that primetime slot worth to you? Bid wisely my friend…this is worth much more than that sold-out Ed Hardy shirt you found on eBay..

Pandora’s opened a whole new kind of box.

At my internship yesterday, I was working away while listening to Pandora–one of my favorite things to do in any office setting. You get to listen to the most ideal mix ever–you don’t know what song will play, but chances are you’ll love it, since you created the radio station. Another thing that sets Pandora out is that it’s free (boo XM/Sirius) and it’s commercial free, unlike good old FM. Unfortunately I’ll have to scratch that last part.

While doing some online research, suddenly a man’s voice came through my headphones and told me about this supposedly “must-see” new show I should watch called Lie to Me. First, I didn’t notice what was going on. Then I was severely confused. “What kind of song is this?!”, I thought to myself. I pulled up the Pandora tab on my firefox browser, and sure enough, advertising has weaseled its way in.

The good news? The ad was quick. It wasn’t a commercial break. It was one ad for fifteen seconds, and I only heard one in a 3 hour period. Will I stop listening to Pandora? Absolutely not, the site still rules. Heck, I didn’t stop using Facebook, did I? I don’t think this will turn users away, and perhaps Pandora can earn millions and put it towards making the website even cooler.

So for those of you copywriters that thought radio spot writing was dead–think again. Advertising on Pandora is even MORE niche than FM radio. This guy likes alternative? We can do better. This guy loves Dave Matthews Band, specifically the use of percussive and acoustic sounds. Pandora has opened a whole new box on audio spot writing, and I welcome the challenge.

Have a Magical Birthday!

Greetings from sunny Los Angeles! On my first day here, driving from LAX to my new apartment, I noticed a billboard with a rather familiar mouse. For 2009, by offering guests free admission on their birthday, Disney has offered themselves recession insurance. At a time when the vacation industry will be taking a bit of a hit to say the least, Disney has found a way to cover their bases.

It’s a great idea. A friend of mine in LA has his birthday today. He’s convinced a few friends to come along to Disneyland with him. No one is going to go to Disney alone on their birthday, so just like that, Disney will have a few extra guests for the day. Besides, once Disney gets you in the park, that’s where they’ll nickel and dime the birthday dude.

A pair of those classy mickey ears? $12.

A tasty turkey leg in frontierland? $8.

A photo with Cinderella with you wearing those mickey ears while eating the turkey leg on your birthday? Priceless. But also, $24.99.

The King kills the peasants

The latest crazy little scheme from Burger King has left some with fewer friends–literally. The new facebook application is the brainchild of agency Crispin Porter + Bogusky (I seem to blog about them a bit too much, don’t I?). How it works is simple. Decide which of your friends on facebook you’d rather eat a whopper than look at their profile, and defriend them. 10 defriends earns you a coupon for a free whopper. It’s like a reward for cleaning your room.

This is undoubtedly the first facebook application to counter what applications do in the first place, which is clutter your profile. I love the concept.

The only thing I have a slight problem with is just that with the Whopper, everything CP+B has done is a one-off. I see no real strategy behind their campaign. First they stop selling the whopper, then they feed it to rural Romanians, and now they give it to you if you knock off ten people. Are sales of the whopper really going to increase? If yes, I blame our economy for driving Americans to fast food chains.

Regardless, it’s still a cool idea.

My advice, defriend the vegetarians. That’ll really stick it to them.

The copywriter for the Economist is a genius.

I would have paid money to have come up with that line. I’m a new reader of the Economist, and I’d never seen their ads before. There’s nothing to them, other than a genius line that stands out from the signature red background. I have no idea who does the ads for the Economist, but I wish I could meet the copywriter and shake his or her hand. I’d love to post them all here, but there are just too many. I suppose I’ll post more from time to time seeing as these ads take the cake for my favorite ads of 2008. With the New Year here, my sole resolution is to try to read the Economist more, so what better than to have my first post of 2009 be about this provocatively intelligent magazine?

I don’t have an image of one of my favourites, but this Christmas the subscription insert of my issue had a zinger. I laughed aloud on an airplane when I read it:

“For those who understand the inherent value of coal in one’s stocking.”

I love how these lines give the Economist a personality. If the Economist were are person, he would say those things, because he’s a pompous asshole who has every right to be arrogant because he’s so friggin’ smart.

Ahh yes. Happy New Year.

Best of Christmas 2008

The brand that just won’t quit, Apple has brought my favorite ad of Christmas–and of their long-running campaign. Even after CP+B’s attempt to combat the classic Mac/PC comparative ads, Apple has shown they won’t back down, and continues to come up with better, funnier, and in this case more adorable executions than ever before. The classic animation (which Nextel Wireless also half-heartedly attempted this year) puts a smile on my face and reaffirms my respect for the Apple brand. They always stay on point and have never once waivered from their positioning throughout the web 2.0 war, unlike Microsoft, who still has no idea who they want to be. While many have declared this rivalry the next Pepsi/Coca-Cola war, I don’t see how the two align since Microsoft has yet to put up a decent fight. Competitiveness aside, this Mac ad was my favorite of Christmas, and deserves an extra large gift from Santa this season.